Well, here we are. It's Tuesday teatime and no doubt people are on tenterhooks as to my performance in the Speed Reading segment of my Pentamind bid.

Well, one of the following (almost original) statements is broadly representative of my achievement. Is it:

1. I had just finished reading the Instructions to Competitors when the arbiter said "Time's up".



2. I finished the latest Harry Potter in five minutes. It was about wizards¹.



3. I was abducted by aliens on my way home last night, and submitted to a battery of bizarre physical and mental tests before having a total memory wipe done on me. I've only just been returned.



4. Speed Reading is essentially about pouring information into your subconscious and then trusting it to give you the right answers. Mine is so untrustworthy that it came up with "Oversleep until 30 minutes into the contest, give it up as lost and go shopping".

Sadly, the correct answer is 4. I would have liked to have claimed 3. until someone pointed that the claim was logically flawed in that I wouldn't have been able to remember what happened in order to report it. The outcome of all this is basically that the Pentamind bid is dead in the water, as it is now impossible for me to fit the required five events into my schedule. I'll still carry on with the remainder of the events however, and report back on them.

Speaking of which, I was playing some more Scrabble yesterday evening. It was a bit of a wash-out, since I couldn't get going in the first two games. Having said that, I'm told that my Round 2 opponent had racked up well over 600 points in Game 1. He didn't get that many against me. I at least got my own back with a nice big win to end the day, which obviously gave me dreams that were a bit too pleasant for my own good.

I'll try and sleep badly tonight, so I'm fit and ready for Intelligence at 10:00 on Wednesday morning!

¹ Phew! Justification at last for the title of this obscurely named set of articles - GR