Hello there! Many of the past articles have featured play by play of the hand analysis, or technical instruction. Hearts has always had the "cutthroat" reputation as a vicious, bloodthirsty game - where there is no mercy. This month, I have decided to explore the "fun" side of the game. Here is a really neat poem about the game of Hearts, which was written by a great Hearts player, and close friend.

YOU GOTTA HATE HEARTS
(Sung to the Song - You Gotta Have Heart from the Play "Damn Yankees")

You gotta play Hearts,
Where the points hit you like darts -
It's a horrible crime,
You eat the Queen the first time,
And then it starts -
You start to hate Hearts.

You become annoyed -
'Cause the pass screwed up your void,
- And now the Queen you just got,
On that pass shows you're not-
Just paranoid -
Your're pretty damn annoyed.

You try to shoot,
But the cards don't distribute -
So instead of staying alive -
You eat twenty - five,
A "puppy shoot" -
Another stinkin' suit.

Once again, you simply lose,
'Cause you got no stinkin' twos,
The language gets obscene -
Your three ate the Queen -
Oh what's the use,
And another game you lose...

Just use your smarts,
As your score goes off the charts,
The opponents are low,
You think you're safe - but then "NO" -
Ouch - it really smarts,
Yes, you gotta hate Hearts!

By Bruce Freedman
Woburn, MA